Every relationship is different and only you can decide whether it’s the right time to leave. We will never tell you what to do, but we can help you to make plans if you’re ready to take the next step.
It’s very important to keep your plans to leave from your abuser. If abusers find out about plans to leave, it’s likely that the abuse will get worse. In many cases, it will put your safety at risk.
You may feel that confronting your abuser or threatening to leave will stop the abuse. We understand the reasons for doing this – but in many cases we’ve dealt with – the abuse increases.
Our experience of supporting domestic abuse survivors shows that – if you can and it’s safe to do so – these precautions may help:
- Plan safe exit routes from home and think about somewhere you can go where your abuser won’t find you.
- Make sure that your mobile phone is not being tracked.
- If you do have a safe place, try to leave a bag of essential items there. It’s important that this is somewhere the bag can’t be found by your abuser. It could include passports, clothes, bank cards, medication or anything else that’s important to you and (if you have any) your children.
- Consider whether there is a neighbour you can trust to be aware of your situation and call 999 if you need help.
- Try to keep a small amount of money with you.
- Make sure you keep a charged mobile phone with you.
- Plan to leave at a time when you know your abuser will be out.